July 25, 2009


Sometimes, instead of doing productive things I choose to spend hours meticulously rating and organizing my iTunes music collection.

Sometimes I refresh Google Reader until a new post shows up, or I refresh Facebook until I see something I want to comment on.

Sometimes I watch movie trailers, or read video game forums, or watch episodes for TV shows in chronological order.

Sometimes I clean my house to avoid doing something more productive. Sometimes I do something productive to avoid having to clean my house.

Sometimes I say home instead of going out, for no reason at all.

Sometimes I sleep in for 15 extra minutes, and then arrive late to work, and then spend the next three or four hours tense and frustrated that I was late again.

If I could change anything about myself, it would be the wonky cost/benefit analysis I seem to apply on a day to day basis.

July 22, 2009


I think the reason my blogging efforts in the past have never succeeded is that I never find an area of focus. Meaning: topic, style, or format. In the past I have updated my various blogs (and even written journals) randomly, sporadically, and often lack the interest in updating at all. I think that's because I had no goal, no sense of accomplishment, and no reason to post if the mood didn't strike me. I'd like to change that.

I want a website where I can communicate, perhaps even chronicle some of the things in my life, and yet avoid the (often uninteresting) niche confessional exhibitionism. I do want to be a filmmaker, after all, and it would be nice to have my movies do the heavy lifting in terms of what I hope to "say" to the world at large. Making a short movie could take a year (two years in the case of one of my movies...), which is far too slow and burdensome when the eventual goal of this site is to have content designed for frequent, small-dose consumption.

I communicate differently with my co-workers than I do with my family. Same goes for my friends from childhood, my friends from college, and my neighbors. Finding a style and method of communication that is both A) honest, and B) appropriate for god-knows-who would ever read this, is tricky considering any of the above people could read this, and then some.

I'll see. Perhaps some creative non-fiction is a better approach than my instinct for "journal" writing. And hell, an image or a link or something might be nice! You know, content.

July 21, 2009

Hermit Crabs

I'm fairly certain I'm a terrible room mate, which is why I didn't have one up until today. Well, that's only half the reason. The other half is that I typically find everyone else under the sun a terrible room mate as well, owing to my raging obsession with tidiness and "personal space." I'm pretty charming that way. My new room mate is actually my ex-sister-in-law, which is a little tricky to explain, but trust me, it should work!

She's 18 and wanted to move to the city. Three cheers for her, for having some initiative and a sense of adventure. It probably helps that her sister and I already lived here, though.

When I live by myself, I get to determine, quite arbitrarily, how organized or clean the apartment should be. By most people's standards that usually shifts between "fairly tidy" and "museum-like." Throwing someone else in the mix, who I know already is not interested in the great aesthetic value to be had from a nicely compartmentalized medicine cabinet, is just asking for trouble. Hopefully I learn something from all this.

Aside from tidiness, there are also the issues of privacy, money, appropriate noise levels, shared spaces, and all sorts of other sticky traps. These are all terribly important to me, as my "nest" is perhaps the single greatest determining factor in my general level of happiness or anxiety on any given day. I have enjoyed the hell out of living alone, and would like to do it again someday, but I literally can't afford it anymore. So here goes nothing.

July 19, 2009

Adult Friends, and How to Find Them

A few weeks ago a co-worker, with very little effort required, managed to convince me to sign up for Adult Friend Finder under the auspices of Shits 'N Giggles.

So far the experience has not been very special, though admittedly my interest as a member is not for the finding and procuring of Adult Friends. The decision to enlist among those who are searching for Friends, who are also Adults, did come at the tail end of a painful end of a year long relationship. But I can't in all honesty say that utilizing a service such as this would ever warrant the time and energy necessary to find a viable match. After navigating the site for awhile, I'm fairly confident that meeting people the old-fashioned way remains perfectly viable.

First, one is asked to answer hundreds of questions about the minutiae of one's personal, social, and sexual interests. One is asked to take quizzes and upload photos. Then, in a fitting metaphor for our societies obsession meta-narratives, one is asked to provide written commentary and description for all of the above information. God forbid the information itself stand on its own. Unlike, Facebook, which at least seems to have a few graphic designers on board, Adult Friend Finder then takes all that information, mashes it into a meat-paste, packs it into a sausage casing, eats it, and then vomits it back up into some terribly unsettling manipulation of HTML. It's not a joy on the eyes.

Additionally, one has to pay a fee in order to actually view someone else's "profile," yet one is e-mailed thrice daily with the carrot-on-a-stick notion that people are interested in you, sir, and how dare you let them remain lonely and un-fondled. Needless to say it is internet marketing at its most basic, but I suppose I expected a little more from a site that's been around since the advent of internet porn. I had wanted a site where I could satiate my endless thirst for the dual sensation of curiosity/revulsion, or at the very least challenge the idea of just what sort of person would use a site like this for its stated purpose. It was to be a grand sociological experiment, where I could observe and report on the tastes and desires of thousands of anonymous people.

I managed only to accomplish adding myself to yet another inescapable junk mailing list, and adding another password/username combination to my ever-expanding list of password/username combinations that will be lost and forgotten within a few months of its creation.

Inaugural, obligatory post

In the grand scheme of things, it's unlikely that this inaugural post will stand out from the millions of others created throughout the world each day.


Which I can't do, because I don't know where it is. But just think about if I did. Yeah.