July 19, 2009

Adult Friends, and How to Find Them

A few weeks ago a co-worker, with very little effort required, managed to convince me to sign up for Adult Friend Finder under the auspices of Shits 'N Giggles.

So far the experience has not been very special, though admittedly my interest as a member is not for the finding and procuring of Adult Friends. The decision to enlist among those who are searching for Friends, who are also Adults, did come at the tail end of a painful end of a year long relationship. But I can't in all honesty say that utilizing a service such as this would ever warrant the time and energy necessary to find a viable match. After navigating the site for awhile, I'm fairly confident that meeting people the old-fashioned way remains perfectly viable.

First, one is asked to answer hundreds of questions about the minutiae of one's personal, social, and sexual interests. One is asked to take quizzes and upload photos. Then, in a fitting metaphor for our societies obsession meta-narratives, one is asked to provide written commentary and description for all of the above information. God forbid the information itself stand on its own. Unlike, Facebook, which at least seems to have a few graphic designers on board, Adult Friend Finder then takes all that information, mashes it into a meat-paste, packs it into a sausage casing, eats it, and then vomits it back up into some terribly unsettling manipulation of HTML. It's not a joy on the eyes.

Additionally, one has to pay a fee in order to actually view someone else's "profile," yet one is e-mailed thrice daily with the carrot-on-a-stick notion that people are interested in you, sir, and how dare you let them remain lonely and un-fondled. Needless to say it is internet marketing at its most basic, but I suppose I expected a little more from a site that's been around since the advent of internet porn. I had wanted a site where I could satiate my endless thirst for the dual sensation of curiosity/revulsion, or at the very least challenge the idea of just what sort of person would use a site like this for its stated purpose. It was to be a grand sociological experiment, where I could observe and report on the tastes and desires of thousands of anonymous people.

I managed only to accomplish adding myself to yet another inescapable junk mailing list, and adding another password/username combination to my ever-expanding list of password/username combinations that will be lost and forgotten within a few months of its creation.

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